Bake Off Bake Along
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I Rejected Paul Hollywood’s Nuts | #bakeoffbakealong

I need to say something before we even begin to talk about biscuits today.

Marie totally shouldn’t have left, it should have been Dorret. Is that super controversial? I mean she used frog cookie stamps for gods sake, a similar crime to not making your own fondant, surely?

I’m not cool with it. Not cool with it at all. Now that’s out of the way though, lets talk about what happened in my kitchen this week.

I’ll start by explaining my totally clickbait headline (how good am I getting at those by the way?). So, I wanted to make biscotti and put ’em in a box made of biscuits, therefore combining two of this weeks challenges because ambition.

I found a Paul Hollywood biscotti recipe and figured I couldn’t not make it, but I didn’t fancy any of the flavour combos. I rejected Paul’s nuts and went for brazil nut and dried cherry. All of the giggling.

Great British Bake Off Biscotti

This was my first time making biscotti and I feel like I haven’t 100% nailed it. They taste awesome (really though, try that combo in something) but they’re a little on the chewy side, a little cakey, and they didn’t rise at all in the oven, so they’re long and thin as opposed to the ones pictured in Hollywood’s recipe.

My taste testers were impressed with them though, and they were perfect with coffee.Β What do you guys think? Should I have done more kneading? Am I being too picky? Let me know.

With the biscotti under my belt, I got to thinkin’ re overly ambitious biscuit box. Boy is this gonna make you laugh.

Great British Bake Off Biscotti

As you can see from my two (only two) very technical brainstormy sketches, I pretty much half arsed the planning side of things. This is probably where my inevitable failure stemmed from.

I knew I wanted to use this biscuit dough (a firm favourite) skipping the vanilla/lime and instead adding almond extract, and end up with a cube shaped box but beyond that, zero plans were made, I just got right into it.

I can’t put this off any longer, let’s take a look at the shambles that was my biscuit box and then we’ll do a post mortem. Try not to fall out of your seat laughing, OK?

Great British Bake Off Biscotti

Great British Bake Off Biscotti

Is that a show stopper or what?

It’s like a particularly shocking episode of cowboy builders is what it is. One of those episodes where those dastardly cowboys run off with all the cash before they’ve put the roof on – or built the fourth wall for that matter.

I suck. It was a Saturday night, and I gave up at this point to put my make up on and get some drinking done.

Great British Bake Off Biscotti

So what went wrong? I have my theories:

  • I didn’t chill the dough enough, meaning my squares changed shape a little more than desired in the oven, resulting in an inability to create an actual box.
  • One cannot expect to hold big slabs of biscuit together with nothing more than ordinary icing. I mean, I did it, but jesus it was difficult. If I were to do this again, I’d go for the egg white frosting you make for gingerbread houses.
  • I did zero planning work and expected a project this big to just sort of come together in the end. Evidently, that did not happen.
  • I’m the worst.

That’s this weeks #bakeoffbakealong challenge done. Please don’t leave me forever. I promise I’m a good cook, really I am.

Make me feel better about myself and tell me your biggest baking fail in the comments?

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23 Comments

    • I feel like you do also need all for sides for a box but I’ll take that comment thank you Sarah!! Do you have a blog post on your arlettes? Would love to read it! x

  1. This made me giggle so much! That box hahah! To be fair, you managed to bake the sides – which is one up on anything I’d be able to do.

    It always amazes me when they make such complex shapes on Bake Off. HOW! Just how!? Give me a simple recipe and I’ll bake it and make it look nice through props/nice photos, but I would never in a million years survive the most crazy things they have to built with baked goods!

    I think you did great! A1 for effort and the biscottis look yum. L xx

    http://www.lorileysesh.com

    • Ahh thanks Loriley!! Yeah my aim with this one was just to make people chuckle.. To think I almost attempted a coffee mug made of biscuit to put the biscotti in. HA!!

    • Ha ha, thanks! I started with a euphemism so I guess I’ll have to keep them going throughout the challenge.. Your biscotti was GORGEOUS this week (as were you in your pictures!) x

  2. You did brilliantly – I didn’t even both to attempt the box!

    Also, I made my biscotti chewy on purpose. I think they are nicer like that. I could have baked them longer to dry them out and make them really crispy, but even though that’s *technically* the right way to do it, I think they are less delicious.

  3. Cate, I don’t know what you’re on about it’s an A+++ for effort for sure! Mine didn’t rise all that much in the oven either but ho hum, you can’t have it all! Love it x

  4. Biscuit boxes are super hard and I don’t think I’m ever attempting one again! I used so much icing sticking mine together, although the biscuit tastes great its about 20% biscuit, 80% icing! Haha, the biscotti look amazing though, nice bake!! Alice xx

    http://www.woodenwindowsills.co.uk

  5. Seriously, what is the point of a biscuit box?! All that work for what? I like the fact yours doesn’t have a top or all it’s sides, makes it so much easier to get to the biscotti, obviously the main event here! They look yum, by the way.

    Jennie x x

  6. haha great job on the box though! I mean it’s standing and all – at least there is that! And you tried – I mean most of us just took one look at it and didn’t even think about it more!

    • I half wish that’s exactly what I’d done, ha! Still haven’t finished eating that bloody box either.. Can’t wait for tonight’s episode.. Thanks for reading Camila x

  7. I, too, rejected Hollywood’s nuts. We’re so wild. These look great though, don’t be too hard on yourself! And if they taste good then who cares ;D

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