It’s the baking fails that make for the best titles, isn’t it? We can talk ’til the cows come home about how I’ve let the side down this week in just a second, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves, we need to talk about what happened last Wednesday first.
Did anyone else feel like Mel and Sue didn’t 100% milk the innuendo opportunities while the bakers were making cream horns? Cream horns, come on, there was so much to be said. And when Paul’s banana wasn’t strong enough? I was almost on the floor, really.
I thought it was Flora’s turn to get outta there this week, I even called it at the beginning of the episode (and I’m usually right). I reckon she’s still in just by the skin of her teeth, can anyone remember whether she’s gotten further than Martha did last season? Paul had a bit of a shocker too though, so it was probably best he got off home, poor boy. I’ll miss him. I’ll always remember your lion, Paul.
So, I went in to this fully committed, OK? I just want you to know that from the off, my intentions were good. I watched the show and I really thought I was gonna go for the gold and just kill that show stopper.
As you can probably tell from my tone today (I’m so good at laying it on thick), my dreams and ambitions were not realised.
I went all the way down to Poundland to get myself a rubbish little piping set, I read the recipe and read it again, I learned the hard way that choux pastry is just plain weird to make. It was all going fine.
Just wanted to take the opportunity to show you how truly excellent I am at piping choux pastry. Look at those not-wonky-at-all eclairs, I’m a genius, right?
I whipped some cream by hand, I cut the eclairs in half and I filled them.
Melted some decent chocolate (shout out to Beech’s for sending me this to play with, it’s the good stuff) and poured that on top. They looked the part. Ish.
But really, I got to this stage and said “Cate, why ruin a good thing?.” OK maybe that’s not exactly how it went down. Maybe the long story short is, I really couldn’t be bothered to make them stand up.
There. I said it. I just couldn’t be arsed this week.
Can I blame Mercury being in retrograde for this? I’m going to.