What I really wanted to do today was show you an amazing batch of soft, pillowy, sweet brioche rolls that I made according to The Beer Bakery’s excellent recipe for Spiced Orange and Coriander All Butter Brioche.
Unfortunately, I’m unable to do that because I completely spooned it. These things happen, especially to me, as you may remember from some of my more disastrous Bake Off Bake Along challenges.
I’m not entirely sure what it is specifically that I did wrong. It’s more than likely to be a series of wrongs, as opposed to one small mistake that took down the whole bake. I’ve tried Googling “brioche what went wrong” in a desperate attempt to find out what on earth I might have done, but have found nothing. So I can’t even give you lessons learned to avoid screwing up your own brioche. Useless, aren’t I?
It looked as though it was going well in the early stages. My dough was soft, it smelled incredible (thanks to the orange zest, cloves and finely chopped coriander) and it looked unsuspecting. It was only when I removed it from the fridge the following day, separated it into six rolls and waited for them to rise that I realised all was not going to plan.
They didn’t rise even a smudge, not a millimetre. I waited six hours. Eventually, I gave up on all hope of a risen dough and just put them in the oven and hoped for the best.
I was – foolishly – hopeful when I retrieved them from the oven, they appeared to look very much like actual, successful brioche rolls. Upon closer inspection, they were not at all like actual, successful brioche rolls.
Rock hard, super dense, everything brioche should not be. I was truly crushed.
You know I’d never throw food in the bin though, that is not my style. I had to set about making it in some way edible.
I fed some to my grandparents, toasted and very generously buttered. This seemed to go down a treat. It certainly tasted nice, it’s just the texture that was bad and wrong and bad.
My personal favourite solution was french toast. 1 egg, some icing sugar and some cinnamon was whisked together, then I sliced the crust off either side of a roll and let it soak in the egg mixture until it had absorbed all of it and fried it in delicious delicious butter. Then poured over some maple syrup for good measure.
It’s just occurred to me whilst writing this blog post about rescuing rubbish brioche that it might just make for amazing breadcrumbs for use at Christmas. So I shall be doing that to.
So there, I failed miserably at showing off one of The Beer Bakery’s recipes, but I feel like I might at least have pleased Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall with my resourceful attempts to avoid wasting my miserable failure.
This recipe was created specifically to complement Hoegaarden, a beer I’ll be using to lightly drown my brioche sorrows after publishing this blog post.
If you want to see how it’s really done, watch the boys making the recipe I was attempting on their YouTube channel.
This isn’t sponsored content, but I was provided with a supermarket voucher to cover the ingredient costs of
trying out slaughtering this recipe.