Hello, it’s me, your most favourite idiot, I have some particularly idiotic news for you. On Friday night, I finally busted my iPhone. I’m not sure how exactly, but the screen is totalled. Completely black. Unsalvageable. I probably spilled vodka coke on it or dropped it in a sink or something, who knows. Anyway, that means that I can’t show you half the stuff I was planning to today because pictures of said stuff are locked away in my camera roll, perhaps never to be seen again. Thank god for Instagram, I can totally go through my account and screenshot my week in food so that we still have things to talk about. P h e w.

Side note: living life without a smartphone is super weird. It’s been not much longer than like 24 hours and I’m already just freaking out. Maybe this will finally turn me into the hippie douchebag I want so desperately to be and I’ll ditch that iPhone life forever. Bye, Instagram. (Kidding, see you soon Instagram I miss you so much).

• On repeat: this gorgeous little slice of summer has been blasting through the speakers every time I’m at the house alone and the sun’s out and I’m pottering in the kitchen or procrastinating to my usual standard. I adore it.
• This week I stumbled upon the work of Alan Watts, and I’ve been slowly unpacking it ever since. My favourite excerpt of one of his speeches is this video entitled music and life, which ends: “it was a musical thing and you were supposed to sing or dance while the music was being played”.
• We all know we shouldn’t really eat dinner with the TV on, but I’d never given much thought as to why. Eat mindfully, my friends, at least most of the time.
• I’ve never heard of Peeps before, but watching the Serious Eats team turn them into Easter sushi was kind of a joy.
• Bon Appetit’s 6 ingredients to swap for breadcrumbs will, I’m sure, come in handy eventually.

This is going to be fun. Let’s start at the back end of last week and take us up to now-ish. Last Sunday, I went to London with my Mum to celebrate my Godparents’ baby’s 1st birthday and had the best time. They went all out on the food front (they are the best kind of people) and I was put on canapé assembling duty, what you see before you is mackerel pate, thinly sliced beetroot and fancy chutney. It was delicious. Also present were scotch quails eggs and delicious chicken wings and just the most preposterously good food. Best catered for 1 year old in the country I believe.

I don’t know if you guys noticed, but I am a very very self indulgent human being. So if I feel like having a burger for breakfast one day, I tend to just go ahead and do it. And this week I went ahead and did that. I can totally recommend the veggie “burger” I used, it was an Asda nut cutlet (freezer aisle) and you’ll pleased to see that I am still on a roll with pickled jalapenos. I’m beginning to think that the flame of our love may never burn out.

This week’s plant based inspo. OK, is this a weird meal? Because on reflection, I feel like maybe you could call it weird, but it brought me a lot of joy and I’m having it again ASAP. Refried beans (done from scratch, natch), roasted sweet potato and pickled jalapenos (again with the PJs, I cannot stop). Scary good combo, try it.

I made these chickpea, sweetcorn and frozen pea fritters a few days ago and Emma asked me to DM her the (very vague and loose and useless) recipe which I totally forgot to do, so this one’s for you babe! To make about 4: I chucked like a handful of chickpeas, a handful of canned sweetcorn and a handful of frozen peas into a bowl with 2 cloves grated garlic, quite a lot of chopped dill (any herb would likely work), salt and pepper, chilli flakes (I think) and then tipped in some flour, cracked an egg in there and did some mixing. Heated quite a lot of oil in a frying pan and shallow-ish fried tablespoons of the batter for a few mins either side. Hope that’s helpful ish. They’re super delicious and cheap and I-don’t-have-any-food-in-friendly.

I can’t make good decisions all the time (or, let’s be real, any of the time) and this was 100% a bad decision. Cheeseburger salad. I don’t really wanna talk about it.

That’s really all. I didn’t take any weekend food pictures because of the whole destroying my phone on Friday night thing. How was your week? Tell me about it. Oh, also, go say happy birthday to my girl Jess cause that bitch turns 21 today.

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