Hello, welcome to today. I hope you don’t have anything important to do and you’ve eaten well so far. I would describe this week as fine, it’s been great on some days and terrible on others. This will forever be known to me as the week I went to Wetherspoons on West St so much that the boys on the door stopped IDing me and started asking me how my day had been so far. I think me and Spoons should cool it for a bit.

• On repeat this week: Doctor Beat is unable to help me with how uncool my Mum thinks I am for listening to this song, never mind. Also, vintage Kylie. I’ve been a total loser this week.
• The latest in ‘foods that are totally giving you cancer without you realising’ is, heartbreakingly, white bread. Damn it. In more positive news, one of my most insatiable habits is good for me. Swings and roundabouts.
• I always love the kitchen gadget reviews column, but this weeks was particularly hilarious.
•  People are often surprised when I say that writing a cookbook is something I’d have zero interest in if one day the opportunity arose for some reason or another, this might go some way to explaining why.
• The way this VICE article talks about being an unpretentious vegan is perfect. I adore the tone of this, really and truly. It’s well worth your time.
• Somebody used Photoshop to make their dog look Clifford-sized and it’s just magic.
• You saw the puppy or bagel thing already, right?

The Aliens finally started

In case you didn’t already know: I’m head over heels in actual love with Michael Socha (on the right in the picture above) and his new show started on Tuesday night. I’m biased because of the whole being in love with the lead actor thing, but it’s f*cking fantastic. I definitely recommend that you watch it. You can get it on 4OD and catch it live at 9pm on Tuesday nights, E4.

In other screen watching news, Desperately Seeking Susan is now on Netflix. You are welcome.

Eats of the week

Top left: fried tomatoes on toast with lots of herbs, a little salt and a sprinkling of garlic powder, a very delicious start to Saturday. Top right: LETTUCE WRAPS. I’ve only just started eating this and sh*t god damn they’re good. Here featuring the quorn vegan burgers, some ketchup + mayo, and pickled jalapenos. Bottom left: Chips and curry sauce. Yep. Bottom right: fancy chocolate dipped in unfancy peanut butter, the snack of all snacks.

I got a postal surprise in the form of the limited edition Tracklements plum sauce on Wednesday morning. You can’t get it on the internet (it’s that limited) but keep an eye out for it in all the cosiest farm shops and fanciest delis. The label suggested serving with duck or game or something similarly meaty which, as you know, is not up my street right now. Instead I chopped up the only remaining vegetables in my fridge (a pitiful portion of cabbage and some on-the-turn green pepper) and stir fried them with noodles and plum sauce.

Product launch alert: Hovis chia bread. I find this interesting, mostly because it’s a white loaf and if I were marketing to the chia seed eating gang I probably would have gone for brown (but I prefer white sliced so this works better for me, sorry body). It tastes good, a standard seedy sliced loaf, li’l bit of chew in there, I’m a fan. I’ve been keeping it in the freezer and defrosting slice by slice because I’m the only bread eater in the house at the moment and I despise food waste, that tip is a freebie. Look out for it in the places that you might usually buy bread.

The first Easter egg (of many, I shouldn’t wonder) happened on Thursday with coffee. Sidenote: can we all agree that this is the only way to open a chocolate egg? This chocolatey thing of extravagance and beauty came courtesy of Betty’s, so thank you very much to them for helping me hit that 11am sugar high.

This finally happened! Having a silver spoon with your blog name engraved in it is in my view equal parts cute and narcissistic, which is probably an accurate description of me so we’re perfect for each other.  This baby is from IJustLoveIt.co.uk and is one of many awesome gifts that you probably wouldn’t find on the high street, the spoon will set you back £21.99 and you can get yourself up to 50 characters engraved. My favourite thing about the way IJustLoveIt do this is their use of vintage cutlery as opposed to a big old matching set, meaning you’re guaranteed a legit unique piece.

Current obsesh: Asda’s Moroccan Spiced Houmous. It’s so good. I think my new favourite flavoured houmous, for sure – their whole range of flavoured houmous is actually super broad and I would recommend checking it out. Side note: M&S do the best plain houmous of all supermarkets, in case you’re ever wondering.

I forgot to mention that pickled jalapenos are delicious and I am completely in love with them at the moment, if you have any favourite things to do with them please tell me because I cannot get enough.

How was your week? What did you eat? Were you nice to everybody? Tell me tell me tell me.

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